Energy Drinks
I have reviewed the energy drinks I have had on my Bluesky page. I scraped them and put them here so you can see all my reviews in one place. Let my future heart disease guide your way.
| Date | Drink | Brand | Flavor | Rating | Review |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2026-08-24 | Alani Witches Brew | Alani | Caramel Apple | 8/10 | Energy drink review: Alani Witches Brew 8/10 Yo, wtf? Caramel apple in a can? Why is this so good? Where can I get more? Why is this Alani actually good? |
| 2026-08-18 | Aldi Gridlock Apple | Aldi (Gridlock) | Apple | 7/10 | Energy drink review: Aldi Gridlock Apple 7/10 the best apple energy drink on the market‽ Better than monster even if it's full on candy apple. Definitely not apple juice! |
| 2026-08-05 | Stewart's Impact Sherbet Shockwave | Stewart's Impact | Sherbet | 8/10 | Energy drink review: Stewart's Impact Sherbet Shockwave 8/10 probably the best Stewart's and best Sherbet flavor I've had. Not overly sweet. Very strong caffeine to the point of being the highest density I've had in a can. |
| 2026-08-05 | Alani Purple Cotton Candy | Alani | Cotton Candy | 3/10 | Energy drink review: Alani Purple Cotton Candy 3/10 putrid saccharine slurry. |
| 2026-07-31 | Unwell Energy Watermelon | Unwell Energy | Watermelon | 7.5/10 | Energy drink review: Unwell Energy Watermelon 7.5/10 First off, its high sodium and its giving powerade. But it also keeps its calories down with stevia, not my favorite. Not a bad taste, but I don't care for the extra sodium. |
| 2026-06-22 | Aldi Gridlock Strawberry | Aldi (Gridlock) | Strawberry | 7/10 | Energy drink review: Aldi Gridlock Strawberry 7/10 perfectly inoffensive, tastes fake but not very sweet |
| 2026-06-14 | Liquid Death Murder Mystery | Liquid Death | Cherry Cola | 2/10 | Energy drink review Liquid Death Murder Mystery 2/10 this tastes FOUL. A saccharine Diet Dr. pepper knockoff. I hated every drop. |
| 2026-06-14 | Ghost 7Up | Ghost | Lemon-lime | 8/10 | Energy drink review: Ghost 7up 8/10 this hit right. Probably because I'm a bit ill. |
| 2026-06-11 | Alani Dream Float | Alani | Orange Dream | 8/10 | Energy drink review: Alani Dream Float 8/10 A good Alani?! Politely sweet twist on the orange dream formula. Not as good as Reign but better than expected. |
| 2026-06-09 | Monster Ultra Red, White & Blue Razz | Monster | Blue Raspberry | 4/10 | Energy drink review: Monster Ultra Red White and Blue Razz 4/10 no red or white only blue razz, a flavor I'm not fond of |
| 2026-05-23 | Vivee Raspberry Lemon | Vivee | Raspberry Lemon | 8/10 | Energy drink review: Vivee raspberry lemon 8/10 Surprisingly good, the raspberry balances out the sucralose. |
| 2026-05-21 | Vivee Prebiotic Energy Orange | Vivee | Orange | 6/10 | Energy drink review: Vivee prebiotic energy orange 6/10 Perfectly average orange flavor. Not sure what the prebiotic contributes. Maybe I'll have strange burps. |
| 2026-05-11 | Celsius Electric Vibe | Celsius | Unknown | 7/10 | Energy drink review: Celsius Electric Vibe 7/10 another generic blended flavor that tastes like everything and nothing. |
| 2026-05-10 | Red Bull Summer 2026 Sugarfree | Red Bull | Unknown | 8/10 | Energy drink review: Red Bull Summer 2026 Sugarfree 8/10 Tasty and smooth, bit less herbal than most Red Bull but has a warm fruit blend taste. I'd try again |
| 2026-04-23 | Celsius Watermelon Lemonade | Celsius | Watermelon Lemonade | 5/10 | Energy drink review: Celsius Watermelon Lemonade 5/10 just tastes like sucralose. The weakest lemonade flavor they have by far. |
| 2026-04-01 | Monster Energy Juice Voodoo Grape | Monster | Grape | 4/10 | Energy drink review: Monster Energy Juice Voodoo Grape 4/10 sucks |
| 2026-03-31 | Phorm Orange Fury | Phorm | Orange | 6.5/10 | Energy drink review: Phorm Orange Fury 6.5/10 The most generic orange energy drink possible. Not to say it's bad, just whelming. |
| 2026-03-29 | Red Bull Sugar Free Spring Sakura Cherry | Red Bull | Cherry | 8/10 | Energy drink review: Red Bull Sugar Free Spring Sakura Cherry 8/10 a deeper cherry flavor that feels a lot more real than most. I'm usually a cherry flavor hater, so pleasant surprise |
| 2026-03-15 | Monster Ultra Hawaiian Blue | Monster | Blue | 6/10 | Energy drink review: Monster Ultra Hawaiian Blue 6/10 it's blue and it tastes like blue. Can't say this one excited me, just like the punk punch from last week |
| 2026-03-14 | C4 Ultimate Energy Tropical Tundra Frost | C4 | Tropical | 6/10 | Energy drink review: C4 Ultimate Energy Tropical Tundra Frost 6/10 Points for not having beta-alanine, but this is trying to be every flavor at once and not succeeding. Very energizing, for better or worse. |
| 2026-03-14 | Monster Punk Punch Ultra | Monster | Fruit Punch | 6/10 | Energy drink review: Monster Punk Punch Ultra 6/10 All the standard monster ultra feel, with a fruit punch taste that is close to red-flavored kool-aid. Not my favorite, but if you got koolaid bursts in your lunch at summer camp you might enjoy it more than I did. |
| 2026-02-26 | PurAqua Energy Tropical Fusion (concentrate) | PurAqua (Aldi) | Tropical (fake coconut) | 3.5/10 | Energy drink review: PurAqua (aldi) Energy Tropical Fusion (concentrate) 3.5/10 The cost consideration is not able to be bested outside of walmart, but goodness the fake coconut flavor is atrocious. Never again. |
| 2026-02-22 | BUM Energy Root Beer | BUM Energy | Root Beer | 7/10 | Energy drink review: BUM Energy Root Beer 7/10 not much to complain about, standard sucralose root beer flavor. It's still too fizzy for a morning drink |
| 2026-02-21 | Monster Energy Lando Norris | Monster | Melon | 9/10 | Energy drink review: Monster Energy Lando Norris 9/10 I love this and not just because of the license. Melony, a bit herbal, I would prefer this to White Monster any day of the week. |
| 2026-02-18 | Celsius Cherry Cola | Celsius | Cherry Cola | 5/10 | Energy drink review: Celsius Cherry Cola 5/10 omg how did they make this taste like WATER what a disappointment |
| 2026-02-17 | Celsius Playa Vibes | Celsius | Coconut | 4/10 | Energy drink review: Celsius Playa Vibes 4/10 ima hater of fake coconut flavor. Almost every other Celsius is better. |
| 2026-02-16 | Monster Juice Bad Apple | Monster | Apple | 8/10 | Energy drink review Monster Juice Bad Apple 8/10 A good blend in between candy apple and pure tart. I don't go for apple flavors often but I was pleasantly happy with this one. |
| 2026-02-14 | Monster Energy Ultra Wild Passion | Monster | Passionfruit | 8/10 | Energy drink review: Monster Energy Ultra Wild Passion 8/10 Tastes surprising similar to good old White Monster. I could take this over it for sure, tiny bit of sour at the end which I appreciate. Good job. |
| 2026-01-15 | Alani Pink Slush | Alani | Pink Slush | 4/10 | Energy drink review: Alani Pink Slush 4/10 The name does not lie, this tastes like a super concentrated slushy that's melted. And that flavor when not in a slush just feels like disappointment. Way too concentrated. Every Alani i have tried is kinda bad, tbh. |
| 2026-01-14 | Alani Cherry Twist | Alani | Cherry | 5/10 | Energy drink review: Alani Cherry Twist 5/10 actually had a tiny stomachache for 10 minutes after drinking this. At least it isn't cough syrup cherry but that is low consolation |
| 2026-01-04 | Stewart's Impact Rocket Rush | Stewart's Impact | Bomb Pop | 6/10 | Energy drink review: Stewart's Impact Rocket Rush 6/10 Another bomb pop flavored energy drink. Mostly tastes like every flavor at once in a nonharmonious way. At least there's a lemonade fruit punch aftertaste. Low price too |
| 2025-11-08 | Red Bull Winter Edition 2025 Fuji Apple & Ginger (sugarfree) | Red Bull | Fuji Apple & Ginger | 9/10 | Energy drink review: Red Bull The Winter Edition 2025 Fuji Apple and Ginger sugarfree 9/10 This is peak. Apple that isn't entirely a sugar bomb with some pleasant herbs. I want the sugary edition now. Probably the best RB I've had in ages |
| 2025-11-05 | Bawls Root Beer | Bawls | Root Beer | 5/10 | Energy drink review: Bawls Root Beer 5/10 Honestly just tastes like generic root beer flavor. Like from a candy. Way too fizzy for the morning too. Not good at energy drink, not good at root beer, just mid |
| 2025-10-22 | Celsius Spritz Vibe | Celsius | Berry | 4/10 | Energy drink review: Celsius Spritz Vibe 4/10 a rare miss for Celsius, the sucralose overpowers the dry/astringent flavor and it tastes like weak berry |
| 2025-10-19 | Aldi Kiwi Guava Waves | Aldi (Summit) | Kiwi Guava | 5/10 | Energy drink review: Aldi Kiwi Guava Waves 5/10. It's okay. Seems diluted in both fizz and flavor even though it's a stiff 200mg caffeine. Pretty sweet but not overwhelming. Not up to their other standards. |
| 2025-09-25 | G Fuel Watermelon Limeade | G Fuel | Watermelon Limeade | 5/10 | Energy drink review: Gfuel watermelon limeade 5/10. The most nothing energy drink I've ever had. Nearly tasteless, or at least a generic energy drink indescribable taste. |
| 2025-09-24 | G Fuel Hype Sauce | G Fuel | Unknown | 3/10 | Energy drink review: Gfuel hype sauce 3/10. The worst medicinal taste combined with sucralose. Indecipherable flavor and also bad. This Dollar Tree lucky dip off to a poor start |
| 2025-09-06 | Green Dragon 257 Extreme Caffeine | Green Dragon | Red Bull clone | 4/10 | Energy drink review: Green Dragon 257 Extreme Caffeine: 4/10 Better than basic Rockstar, but if the name didn't give it away it's a red bull clone. And it didn't turn me into a dragon so -0.5 pts |
| 2025-05-12 | Bang Any Means Orange | Bang | Orange | 8.7/10 | Energy drink review: Bang Any Means Orange 8.7/10 fellas I think Bang is back, the kick you're used to and a not overly sweet taste without the astringent 1st gen energy drink dryness. Would get in a heartbeat again. Bodes very well for future caffeination |
| 2025-04-07 | Celsius Playa Vibes | Celsius | Piña Colada | 5/10 | Energy drink review: Playa Vibes Celsius 5/10. Way too sweet for piña colada. And I already don't like that flavor. |
| 2025-03-16 | Stewart's Impact Sugar Free | Stewart's Impact | Red Bull clone | 6/10 | Energy drink review Stewart's Impact Sugar Free 6/10 Taste was blah, aftertaste okay. Tastes like a mid early generation energy drink, a worse NOS. Caffeine density high 218mg/12oz and price great $2 [Images: Two cans of energy drink on shelf, $1.99ea, Stewart's Impact and a sugar free version, the cans have a radical extreme design. Both tall 12oz cans] |
| 2025-02-17 | Celsius Strawberry Lemonade | Celsius | Strawberry Lemonade | 6/10 | Energy drink review: Celsius strawberry lemonade 6/10 we have reached the nadir of Celsius, felt like la Croix, possibly the blandest flavor |
| 2025-02-08 | Alani Cosmic Stardust | Alani | Grape (herbal) | 9/10 | Energy drink review: Alani Cosmic Stardust. 9/10 herbal, otherworldly. Fantastic drink, I'd go for it again |
| 2025-01-10 | Celsius Retro Vibe | Celsius | (unspecified) | 6.5/10 | Energy drink review: Celsius Retro Vibe 6.5/10 Celsius is usually decent about not having too overwhelming of a sucralose taste but this is, well, overwhelming. It's definitely a lot more than most Celsius would give you. Not a standout flavor |
| 2025-01-04 | Summit Peach Waves | Summit (Aldi) | Peach | 7.5/10 | Energy drink review: Summit Peach Waves (Aldi). Surprise surprise, another 7.5/10 perfectly serviceable clone of Celsius. Perhaps a bit too much peach flavor, but it's not nearly at the level of being offensive. I'd get this again. |
| 2025-01-03 | Summit Tropical Waves | Summit (Aldi) | Tropical | 7.5/10 | Energy drink review: Summit Tropical Waves (Aldi). Pretty decent, tastes quite nice. Unremarkable but actually tasty 7.5/10 |
| 2025-01-03 | Summit Berry Waves | Summit (Aldi) | Blue Raspberry | 8/10 | Energy drink review: Summit (Aldi) Berry Waves I'm seriously impressed, my favorite blue raspberry flavor in an energy drink. Not too sweet, not saccharine, and the right amount of tartness. 8/10 |
| 2024-12-14 | Reign Sour Gummy Worm | Reign | Sour Gummy Worm | 4.5/10 | Energy drink review: Reign sour gummy worm 4.5/10 I mourn the gummy worms that were killed for this foul concoction, the energy was there because it's a 300mg caffeine drink but it does not taste good. |
| 2024-12-11 | Bang Peach Mango | Bang | Peach Mango | 7/10 | Energy drink review: Bang Peach Mango 7/10 uninspired taste but it's inoffensive. The 300mg caffeine is absolutely insane and needs to be regulated though |
| 2024-12-09 | Monster Juice Rio Punch | Monster | Mango & Papaya | 8.2/10 | Energy drink review: Monster Juice Rio Punch. 8.2/10 remember 5Gum Lush? Mango and papaya, Warm and tropical. Too bad the "juice" content is 2%. Feels like a scam tbh |
| 2024-12-05 | Ryse Fuel Sour Punch Apple | Ryse Fuel | Sour Apple | 5.5/10 | Energy drink review: Ryse Fuel Sour Punch Apple 5.5/10 Pure sour, pure sucralose. This may kill a Victorian child. Not very palatable |
| 2024-12-03 | Ryse Fuel Sunny D | Ryse Fuel | Orange | 5/10 | Energy drink review: Ryse Fuel Sunny D. 5/10 this doesn't feel like sunny d, just a generic orange flavor. Must be the 0-cal formulation instead of the 2% juice from the real thing... |
| 2024-12-01 | Ryse Fuel Kool-Aid Tropical Punch | Ryse Fuel | Tropical Punch | 8/10 | Energy drink review: Ryse Fuel Kool-Aid Tropical Punch 8/10 tastes exactly like the purest red flavored Kool-Aid burst from summer day camp. And it's light on the sucralose flavor while being 0-calorie. Good job |
| 2024-11-28 | Ghost Electric Limeade EDC | Ghost | Limeade | 5.5/10 | Energy drink review: Ghost Electric Limeade EDC. 5.5/10 tastes like pure sucralose. Too sweet to be good at lime. Try again |
| 2024-11-24 | Alani Winter Wonderland | Alani | Berry + winter spices | 7/10 | Energy drink review: Alani Winter Wonderland: berry flavor, but with winter spices in it. Not too bad, but wears out it's welcome by the end of the can. 7/10 |
| 2024-11-21 | Monster Ultra Guava Vice | Monster | Guava | 9/10 | Energy drink review: Monster Ultra Guava Vice is the best Monster I've ever had, no exaggeration. Perfectly tropical and feels soft. 9/10 |